Feared The Beards…

Posted: February 26, 2015 in Electronic Napkin
Druken fables....

Druken fables….

I sat at the end of my favorite bar at the corner of Redondo and Broadway. Drinking a two-dollar PBR, while digging into a basket of popcorn: watching the post game reports from various NFL football games, on a bright, brisk Sunday morning waiting for my haircut by my barber Lou at 1246.

Earlier, I ambled through the sunny beach adjacent streets deep in thought. Two years ago (which seemed more like two seconds), Rockabilly inspired crops were being sported confidently by most if the LBC male population. It was like we were being transported back to a simpler time of extreme cool. The rare chance for the mainstream to taste a counter of Pompadours and Slick backed haircuts, if only but for a summer without the pressure to join a car club.

Suddenly, the Beards invaded and took over like a feral Viking clan. I remembered when the wooley menace first begun. Seemed like every hipster had a dead rodent attached to the bottom of his chin. Everyone was channeling Grizzly Adams. It became depressing days by the ocean when the Lumberjacks subjugated our regular society and excuse me for asking: when did dirty become sexy? The things certain men will do to be accepted in the name of fashion and Beta group inclusion.

I remembered when I was a young lad residing in the boondocks of Southern New Jersey: it was the Philadelphian penal system Sunnis that grew beards for religious reasons. But now it’s all hairy sheikness. A depressive spirit crept into my soul. Is this what we have succumb too? Where was the rebellious originality? Had life turned into a cookie cutter contest. The women have fallen into it as well. With their feminine pseudo sexual interest in everything that encompasses the new “thing”, peer pressuring these weak jawed men to quest for long facial locks. I guessed in reality it had always been that way. Each generation had a fad done before but suddenly enthusiastically rediscovered. Oh the dreaded overly facial hair.

I stroked my newly grown seventies Porn mustache, which I intended to transform into handlebars as I write this rant because: I just can’t be part of a Lumberjack Cosplay, which has pulled in so many new hairy sheep. Get a clue and a Bic

Baddleys, Long Beach CA….

  1. […] Feared The Beards…. […]

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